Recently I was speaking to a group of young couples. Out of them some ladies were pregnant. I had spoken only on som'e aspects of a happy married life including sexual happiness. I was therefore taken by surprise when the entire discussion turned on the topic of sex and pregnancy. In these days when almost every pregnancy is planned and precious in the upper class of society, the desire tb see that this pregnancy goes
One of the questions quite often ked by newly married couples is about sexual activity during pregnancy. No sooner the couple gets the good news, they are worried that from now onwards' sexual activity, which they both enjoy, will have to be, brought to a halt grossly restricted or at least they will have to be very gentle. Even for household'
activities the lady is told to take it easy and not do any work. She' herself also starts
walking very slowly and with measured steps because of the fear that any slight jerk will dislodge the baby in the womb. It would be nice if the couple consulted a qualified physician or their' Obstetrician about it, because they are the persons who can give the
right advise. Most of the time they make their own decisions, Or ask or get 'unsolicited advise from friends and relations who are as ignorant about the matter as themselves.
abdomen in the female starts protruding forward. This is likely to make sexual intercourse cumbersome in positions which the couple has been using so far. It is also not advisable to put too much pressure on the abdomen. Positions where insertion is possible without pressure on the abdomen have to be worked out. In case the male partner also has a big paunch the problem may get compounded. There is often a questfon whether entry from rear is better than that from the front. Some want to know if the woman on top position is more advisable. Each couple have to .work out whatever is more comfortable for them. Often they may' find that satisfying. each other by means other than actual sexual intercourse may be the best alternative.
It must however be noted that there is neither any danger of any infection getting car
ried in to the uterus as a result of sexual intercourse nor likely hood of any damage or injury to the baby as a result of stroking during sex.
There are various aspects of sexual activity and let us see how each of these can be affected by pregnancy.libido is actually more during pregnancy. This may be because of increased congestion of blood in the genital area which she interprets as desire, because normally sexual desire leads to congestion. Some others may continue to have their prepregnancy libido during pregnancy also. That is if she was desirous of sex every five days, she may continue to have that feeling even during pregnancy.
LUBRICATION
Next phase in sexual cycle of a female is Lubrication. It is well known that when awoman is sexually aroused there is production of some watery fluid in her vagina. This fluid if in excess may actually flow out. Making that part wet. The purpose of this fluid is to lubricate the entrance in order to facilitate the entry of erect penis in the vagina. During pregnancy, on acoount of pelvic congesion, there is normally also much more fluid than normal. Under normal circumstances there may be occasions when the female partner is not aroused and the area may be dry. During pregnancy inspite of non-arousal lubrication may be available.
SEXUAL DESIRE OR LIBIDO
INSERTION
Before sexual activity can begin, there has to be desire for sex. This is' in technical terms called Libido. What is the effect of pregnancy on the libido of a female? Logically, if sex is for purposes of reproduction, libido should decrease or disappear as soon as that purpose is served. This may happen in a few women. They now may not have a desire for sex. Sexual desire similar to desire for food is subject to many factors. We crave for food, because the body needs food, which is signaled by a lowering of blood sugar. We may also feel hungry because it is time for lunch or dinner, even if blood sugar is normal, because of the conditioning of the brain to this timing. We may be tempted to eat if we 'find some tempting items even if it is not food time and blood sugar may be actually up. We may eat because of what are called hunger pangs, or signals from the stomach. Same is true of libido also. There are a few women who state that their
Dear Doctor,
I am 28 years old and my wife is 25 years old. I have been married for the last 3 years. We had a happy married 1 i fe ti 11 my,' wi fe got
pregnant. After she came to
know that she is pregnant she wou 1 d not a 11 ow me to come near her and totally stopped having sex in fear something will happen (as my wife already had a mis-carriage once). Now after giving birth to a child she has totally lost interest in sex. And we have not had a sexual intercourse for around 15 months. Coul d you help me out in solving this problem and tell me what can be done about it. Also 1 et me know of any treatment? .
Next event which takes place is insertion of penis in vagina. During pregnancy due to presence of lubricating fluid insertion by itself may be easier. This is made still more easy by relaxation of muscles in the genital area. This relaxation of muscles occurs because of certain hormones produced during pregnancy. The purpose of these hormones is to make all parts much more flexible and relaxed so that the baby, when it comes out will meet with minimum resistance. This presence of a substantial amount of lubricating fluid and excessive relaxation of tissues in this area may it self be a cause for sexual dissatisfaction because there is very little friction now available. for sexual enjoyment. Insertion, however may not be easy because of a protruding tummy, inability to bend the back and general discomfort, especially in the later months of pregnancy. Even if insertion is somehow effected, movements may not be easy, for both partners.
Next event in sexual cycle of the female is Orgasm. There are some who report that it is now much more easier to reach orgasm, there are many who find it difficult or even impossible.
Some physicians are not in favour of the female reaching orgasm during pregnancy because it is known that the uterus undergoes spasms during orgasm. They feel that orgasms, obtained by any means should be avoided during pregnancy. Much more so in those who have had abortions earlier and in very early and very late stage of pregnancy because this may induce premature labour.
When we are on this topic we may as well consider the question of resuming sexual activity after delivery. In this matter, in case the wife has been sent to her parents place for last three months of her pregnancy, the
starved husband is usually very keen to resume sexual activity as soon as possible. The wife, however, has just gone through the stressful experience of having a baby nd now has to cope with problems of breast feeding, diapers and nappies, sleepless nights due to crying of the baby, discomfort in the genital area because of excessive stretching and probable stitches in addition to worries about the health of her new born. Some may retain their libido and may desire sex after this long period of sexual deprivation, but many of them do not. Many of them who associate sex'with pregnancy would like to keep away from sex
for the fear of a second pregnancy so soon after the earlier one. Even
'sexual excitement evoked by nipple .stimulation when the baby is sucking, is grossly tinged with a feeling of guilt and not pleasure.
We have a joke; about a man who was very keen on resuming sexual activity after his wife would deliver. He kept on pestering the doctor abou it. When the doctor suggested that he should wait for about a month, he tried to bargain for three weeks. When the doctor finally relented for three weeks, he tried to bring him down to two. This went on for some time. Finally when he asked the doctor, "when sbould we resume sex?" the doctor replied- " That will depend on whether she is in special room or in general ward".
It is advisable to wait for at least three weeks and a little more-if the delivery has entailed surgery such as episiotomy or Caeserian section. Comfort of the female partner should be of paramount importance. |
